Lunchtime Heroes

The Ballad of the Attic Wasps

Accompanied equally by lute and shame

[Written and performed by Sanlas Grayal]
[A few strums at the lute before starting]

In a house owned by a stranger,
we crept and we snuck.
Desperately seeking an egg with no luck.

A bowl of steaming broth,
still burnt on his throat.
He fist punched a snake but he does not like to gloat.

With tipping and toeing,
we were quite not knowing,
just how thick our lives were with danger.
A cat of all things we found in a room,
it told us of eggs but warned not against doom!

Doom! Doom!
The sound of my feet.
Doom! Doom!
Why didn’t he retreat?

Our mission of stealth my stomping just broke,
my foolish footwork unknowingly awoke…
Run you slow grump!
On the ground you did slump!

I shrieked oh so bravely,
to call our dear friends.
Come to think of it really,
we just met them at the inn.
[I’m sure they’re quite nice.]

Your injuries were epic,
your skin held on tight.
I did so much better with only one wasp to fight.
Slowly you greyed and your beard lost its spring,
as Truk jumped in and slayed the last thing.

We watched and we waited,
as not one medic we brought.
That should have been required,
long before we fought.

Thankfully you recovered,
dizzy and sweating.
Perhaps next time mine will be the life that I’m betting.


Tosses a few coppers into the hat

The Ballad of the Attic Wasps

Thodrus says: “I like your style, elf! Last night, I was starting to wonder what sort of town this was. One day later, and I’ve already punched a venomous snake in the face, been condescended to by a catty female, been attacked from behind by two poisonous insects, fallen on the floor in a stupor, and had my defeat set to song. This place feels just like home!”

Dan says: Unlike my dwarven alter-ego, I’ve never been part of anything worth composing a ballad about, much less such a rousing and sincere performance. I could get used to that!

The Ballad of the Attic Wasps
dheinecke billyguldager

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